A Tale of Two Mechs
by RainbowFang
Summary: Prowl, Bumblebee, Jazz, and Optimus are involved in one of the best stunts the gang has ever seen.  Rated M for innuendo and language.
1. Sparkling Beginnings

**A Tale of Two Mechs**

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Heh, this was something I wrote down a while ago.

Oh, by the way: I FOUND MY STUPID JOURNAL! W00T!

XD

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Bee/Prowl

Animated Sorta 'Verse/Movie 'Verse....sorta....

....Kinda. Based off of the second episode. You know, when Prowl pounces on Bee.

Just imagine everyone as their Animated style. *throws hands in air and grumbles* I DON'T GET IT EITHER! They're all OOC, I suppose.

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Fuck it, it's a crack fic.

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It was boring day on base, and Bumblebee was determined to have some fun. He had managed to get Bulkhead, Ironhide, Sari, Jazz, Ratchet, Sunstreaker, and Sideswipe to listen to him, and was now putting on a show, telling them a story about how awesome he was for saving Prowl's aft on the battlefield.

Prowl, at this point, had walked into the rec room, and upon hearing this, huffed, "You did not, immature sparkling. It was actually _I_ that saved _you._ If not for me, you wouldn't have your legs attached anymore, now would you?"

Bumblebee faltered, before sticking his glossa out at the ninja-bot. Prowl growled, and continued walking, intent on getting to his own quarters.

Bumblebee behind him, however, turned back to his storytelling, using exaggerated movements and words.

"And that's when I zapped Starscream and pulled Prowl out of the way, saving his life..."

Prowl stopped and gritted his denta, fists clenching when he continued.

"And he was all, 'Oh, thank you Bumblebee! You're my hero!'"

Prowl whipped around, and crouched. Bumblebee turned back to Prowl, to see if he had heard. He was surprised, however, when Prowl launched himself at Bee, and forced him to the floor. He leaned over the yellow bot.

"Yet you can't even protect yourself."

Bee's face plates heated up with his embarassment. Prowl continued, still straddling Bee, pinning him to the floor.

"I'm wondering if there's any truth in that story at all."

Bumblebee sputtered, trying to come up with something.

"Uh, well, er, you see, uh, um...Slag."

Prowl leaned closer, their faces almost touching.

"Yes?"

Bumblebee snapped his denta together.

"Get off me, Prowler. I have stuff to do."

Prowl smirked. "Like what? Storytelling?"

Bee stammered again, trying to think of a snappy comeback, but for some reason he failed. So he once again stuck his glossa out of the black and gold mech. Prowl leaned back, and facepalmed.

"Why do I bother?" he mumbled, dropping his hand.

Bumblebee squirmed underneath the bigger mech, trying to wiggle free. Prowl almost gasped as a projecting piece of armor brushed his plating. He pinned Bee down again.

"Be still!" he snapped.

The yellow mech stilled, and looked over at the group he had been entertaining. They watched him with mild interest. Jazz and the twins were betting on something, and Ironhide was sitting back and smirking, arms crossed over his large chest. Bee turned back to Prowl, to see him staring down at him, lost in thought.

"What?" Bee asked, face plates getting hotter. Prowl gazed at him, and leaned forward, putting more weight on his servos, which were on the yellow bot's chest armor.

"I just realized something," he murmured, shifting his optics to look down at his lips. Bee stared back up at him.

"What?" he whispered.

Prowl leaned closer, his warm breath puffing softly against Bumblebee's face plates. "You are much too cute for your own good," he whispered back, before leaping away and transforming. He zoomed out the door, leaving a confused bot behind.

Bee sat up, looking after him. "What the frag just happened?"

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The next day found Prowl in his office, sorting through the data pads that were stacked on his desk. He sighed, and rested his head on his hand. He lazily scrolled through data with the other. He listened to the birds chirping outside, and sighed again.

"I'm so tired of this."

Pushing his chair back, he stood up, and walked to the door. He opened it, and strided down the hallway. He slipped into the rec room, and briskly walked towards the outside world on the other side of the large room.

Loud, blasting music suddenly caught his attention, and he stopped in the middle of the floor. He turned to the source, and found Jazz and Bumblebee in the corner with a karaoke machine, surrounded by cheering mechs. Prowl's denta ground together when he recognized the song they were singing.

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..._

Prowl walked over to the singing and dancing mechs, and his jaw almost dropped at the view before him.

Bumblebee was doing most of the dancing. He was swinging his chassis, and running a hand down his body, singing, and looking around the crowd. There wasn't even a hint of hesitation or embarassment on his face. Jazz was also singing, but was only tapping a foot to the beat. He was smiling as he sang, laughter in his face. His visor flashed, reflecting one of the bright spotlights onto Prowl. He threw up a hand to block out the disturbance. Bumblebee noticed, and faltered a second, before picking it back up again. He stopped dancing, and only moved to the beat.

Prowl dropped his hand as Jazz tilted his head, the reflection moving away. As the two mechs finished their song, they bowed, and stepped down, giving their mikes up to another couple of mechs. Their song choice started playing, and they began to sing. Jazz melded into the crowd, and Bumblebee went to stand next to Prowl. He glanced up at him, before turning back to the singers.

"So, you aren't going to write us up, right?"

Prowl stared at the smaller mech.

"What are you talking about, Bumblebee?"

Bee glanced back up at him, and shrugged.

"Nevermind."

He watched one of the mechs fall off tune, and start belting out another song entirely. He raised an optic ridge.

"Was I that bad?" he asked, watching the other smack him.

Prowl chuckled. "Actually, no. You were very good. What I don't understand though, is your song choice," he said, staring at Bee. He returned his peircing gaze, and his face plates heated up.

"It was just a bet I lost. That's all."

He looked down at his feet, his servos behind his back. Prowl put a servo on his shoulder.

"What was the bet about, and with whom? I may have to write someone up."

Bumblebee looked at the servo on his shoulder, before meeting Prowl's visor. "It was to see who could keep down the most high-grade. I ended up purging my tanks, so I lost and had to sing."

Prowl tilted his head, and raised an optic ridge. Bee looked down at his pedes.

"It was Jazz," he muttered, and shuffled his pedes.

Prowl sighed. "Of course it was. But why did he sing too?"

Bumblebee brightened up at this, and grinned at the ninja-bot. "He purged too, only after I did. We both lost, but he thinks he won anyway."

Prowl nodded. "Now I know why he was smiling the whole time, too."

He patted Bee's shoulder. "You were...er...great, by the way."

Bumblebee giggled. "You already said that, Prowler!"

He turned to Prowl, and pushed him playfully on the chest. Prowl gave him a reprimanding look, but his twitching lips gave him away. Bee giggled again, and grabbed his servo, letting it swing between them. Prowl stared at him, before a small smile appeared on his face plate. He squeezed the yellow servo, and looked back to the singing mechs. Something caught his optics, and he saw Jazz give him a thumbs up with a smug smile. Prowl glared at him, before turning back to watch the mechs on stage finally finish their awkward song. As they stepped down, a couple other mechs grabbed the mikes and jumped on stage.

Prowl tugged on Bumblebee's servo. Bee looked up at him again. "Yeah?" he asked.

Prowl smiled, and pulled the yellow bot along behind him out of the crowd. "Come with me."

Bumblebee giggled excitedly.

Jazz smirked as he watched the two bots leave the rec room and head towards Prowl's quarters.

_'This ought to be good,'_ he thought.

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How was that? Crappy? Good?

Please review!


	2. Dirty Deeds

**A Tale of Two Mechs**

**Author's Note: I have decided to continue this with another chapter, so I hope you like it. It probably won't be as good as the first chapter, but what can you do? I didn't write this one down first...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, nor do I own the rights to them. I only write to amuse whoever reads my amateur stories.**

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Jazz said 'see ya' to the mechs he was talking to, and slipped out of the booth. He was intent on following Prowl and Bumblebee, and finding out _exactly _what they were doing.

Stopping in front of Prowl's closed door, he kneeled down and cupped a servo to to his audio receivers and listened to the voices coming from inside the room. His optics widened behind his visor upon hearing those very voices. Too bad it was a little muffled.

"You...are so...mmm...Prowl."

"Move...head...that...again. Oh, _frag_."

"So...big...I really...it."

"I know..."

"Too bad...Jazz...see..."

"The three...us...one...berth"

"Mmm..."

"Oh! Oh!...yes...ooooh."

"Lick...servo...place...here?"

"Sure."

"Like this...Prowl?"

"Mmmmm, yes...again."

"Why...so..."

"Big?"

"Mmmm..."

"Sssssmmmmm...again...oooooh."

"Prowl...please...me!"

"I'd...glad...tight!"

"Aaah!"

Jazz was growing hot just listening to this, and he began to rub his thigh. He was pretty sure they were doing something against the rules, and he liked it. Leaning closer, he licked his lips.

"Prowl...Prowl...yes!"

"Hold it...hold it...nygaa...mmmmmhmmmm."

"I've got it!"

"You...do, Bee."

"Having...fun."

"Mmmmmmmm."

Poor Jazz was feeling deprived, so he decided to open the door just a bit, only to look under it and see what they were doing. That's what he told himself, anyway.

What he saw only turned him on further.

He could only see their legs, but he could tell Prowl was leaning over Bumblebee, doing something, and mumbling once in a while.

"Prowl, should I put my servo here?"

"Yes...Much better."

Jazz could hear better, too. He licked his lips again.

Then his fun had to end.

"What the slag are you doing, Jazz?"

Jazz yelped, and flew back from the door, sprawling out onto his back on the floor of the hallway. He looked up to see Optimus staring down at him.

"N-nothing?"

Prime shook his head.

"I come across you on your servos and knees, aft in the air, licking your lips, and you expect me to think you weren't doing anything?"

Jazz remained silent.

"What _were_ you doing, Jazz?"

Jazz swallowed with a big gulp. "Uh, just...listening?"

Optimus' optics grew wide. He glanced at the door, then back to Jazz.

"Is Prowl...with someone?" He gestured his meaning with his servos.

"I think so." Jazz grinned, and stood up.

Optimus shook his head. "But you were eavesdropping on them. I should tell Sentinel on you." He smiled at Jazz's scared look. "On second thought, I can see why you would. Prowl would be quite a catch, I'm sure."

Jazz babbled his protests, taken off guard.

Prime chuckled. "Let's just leave them to it. Come with me, Jazz."

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Prowl eased Bumblebee's servo down his thigh, and stepped back. "There."

Bumblebee snickered. "You think this is actually going to work?"

"Of course it will. What makes you think it won't?" Prowl strided to the large canvas standing in front of the small berth.

Bumblebee giggled. "I'm making a fool of myself, is why."

Prowl snorted, grinning. "As if you don't all the time anyway."

Bee stuck his glossa out at the ninja-bot, then settled into his pose.

Prowl had shaped him into a promiscuous pose on his own berth, legs spread and servos on his body, while he had an aroused look on his faceplate, his glossa licking his lips.

"I'm going to start now..."

Prowl began to paint. And paint. And paint.

This was going to make everyone's jaw drop. Which was the plan, according to Bumblebee. Prowl had wanted Bee's panel open for some reason, but Bee said no, so this was what was going to be painted, whether Prowl liked it or not. Prowl also mentioned something about Jazz being in it too...

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Jazz sighed, sipping his new energon cube. "Today has been weird, has it not, Sentinel?"

The blue Prime nodded, and huffed. "You would think that you could have refrained from singing that wretched song to the public, though."

Jazz snickered. "Yet you went on right after me, and sang off key. What would you call that?"

"Leave no mech behind, Jazz. NO mech behind, whatever the cost." He winked at Jazz. "I think that fit right into that."

Jazz snorted. "So I needed saving?"

Sideswipe interrupted Sentinel's response, by pointing something very private out to Jazz. "Jazz, your panel's leaking lubricant, and it's making me hot."

Jazz froze, and looked down. He quickly pulled a rag out of sub space and wiped himself clean, before tossing it. Then he looked up at Sideswipe, and glared. "I'm not for sale, buddy."

Sideswipe winked, and giggled. "Neither am I."

Sunstreaker tightened his grip on his lover a little more. He glared at Jazz, before turning back to watch the terrible singing onstage.

Jazz blinked. Sideswipe giggled again.

Optimus suddenly made his presence known behind Jazz by putting a servo on his shoulder and saying 'boo'. Jazz jumped in his seat, and looked up. Prime shook his head and snickered. "You really need to loosen up, Jazz." His servo held Jazz's shoulder a little tighter, before he turned away and sat down at another booth.

Jazz followed him with his optics covertly behind his visor. _What is this guy up to?_

A loud gasp made him whip his head around to see who did it.

His optics would never get any bigger than they did in that very moment.

His jaw dropped and he raised a servo to his mouth.

"Oh, Primus."

There, across the room, was now hanging a very arousing painting of Bumblebee in a very sexual position. But there was more. It was signed, "Laugh at this, slaggers," in bold red paint.

Jazz would never, _ever_ forget this day.

Not in a million years.

Then it got better.

Bumblebee himself walked out around the painting, and waved at everybody. "Hey guys! You like the painting?" He wiggled his chassis. "I posed for it, in case you haven't noticed."

Out of the blue, someone said, "Oh, we've noticed."

Then, "I never knew..."

"Erotic."

"Makes me hot."

"The little Bumblebot has a dark side, I see."

Jazz began to giggle uncontrollably. Bumblebee saw him, and ran over. He grabbed up Jazz's servos, and grinned. "Do you like it?"

Jazz nodded, and laughed. "Primus, this is priceless. _This_ is what I saw you two doing? I got all hot and bothered over _this_?"

Bumblebee snickered. "You made that yelp, didn't you? We thought we heard-"

"Someone," finished Prowl, now standing next to Bee. He nodded at Jazz. "You could have just came in, the door was unlocked."

"I know," Jazz said, breaking his laughter off. "I had slid it up a little bit to watch you two." He snorted, still smiling. "And here I thought you two were interfacing!"

Prowl clapped a servo over Jazz's mouth. "Not so loud!"

Jazz's visor flashed, and he stuck his glossa out and licked Prowl's servo. Prowl's optics widened, and he took his servo away. Jazz grinned. Bumblebee giggled again, and let Jazz's servos drop also.

"I never-"

"Oh, yes."

Prowl sputtered, faceplates heating up at Jazz's confidence.

_Yes, a very weird day indeed,_ thought Jazz, grinning.


End file.
